Caregivers Community

Being a Caregiver is Equal to Love: A Mother’s Story About Caring for Twin Sons with Autism

Brooke Phillips, CWCMS
Editor | Shield HealthCare
03/10/14  11:10 PM PST
Portrait of twin boys with autism

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Story shared by Samantha R…

“It seems like yesterday, but 12 years ago I gave birth to beautiful healthy twin boys. Every toe was in place and all fingers were accounted for. I was a first time mother with a lot of responsibility but little did I know, the responsibility would become life changing. I named my boys Julian and Darius which means strength and power. They were such good babies doing what babies normally do, cooing and playing, but something was different and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Before I knew it time was passing and the boys were almost a year old and things didn’t seem right. My boys were not trying to talk and it got really hard to feed them. I was very alarmed by this so I made appointments with their doctor and was told they probably just have a speech delay so I waited another year to see if any progress would be made. During this waiting period I bought every learning toy I could afford to help them speak, but nothing worked. The boys had been being watched by their grandmother while I worked so they had no interaction with other kids. I was so desperate I put them in a daycare to see if it would spark something, but nothing happened.

One day I picked up my sons from daycare and I was pulled to the side and told that my boys seem like they may be Autistic and I just froze in my tracks and wanted to deny that this could be true, but I knew deep down there was a strong possibility my boys had Autism.  In 2005 Julian and Darius were diagnosed with Autism and that year I became their full-time caregiver. I quit my job at the Surgery center and gave up everything else to help and care for my sons. I felt who better to care for my boys then their own mother so I did everything necessary to do so.

I would just like to say that being a caregiver is equal to Love because you can give all day long but without caring and compassion it is just a simple act. I love my boys so much I wouldn’t listen to anything negative about what they wouldn’t be able to do like talk or read. I was also told that my boys were mentally retarded and would not even be able to be potty trained. Needless to say, I ignored the negative and spent countless days and nights coming up with new strategies to help my boy’s progress and learn. What happened next was mind blowing and I almost fell over. One day their teacher called me and said, “guess what? the boys are talking”, and I just cried for about an hour straight.  My sons were not just saying anything but all the words from every song I had taught them and every word they had learned from the many learning and word games I had purchased for them. What a thrill this was for me and my family to hear. Long story short my sons are now twelve years old and they have overcame so much it is amazing to think where they started. They both can now talk, read, and spell among many other things and they are very affectionate. We still have many hills to climb, but with a lot of hard work and love we will scale those mountains. My reward for caregiving is hearing my sons tell me they love me.”

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