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Connecting with My Child with Special Needs: Precious Moments

Alethea Mshar
Special needs mom and Blogger
07/07/17  12:22 PM PST
Special Needs Child

Connecting with My Child with Special Needs: Precious Moments

Today has been a doozy. In addition to the normal stuff – the stuff I go through daily as the parent of a complex child – it’s been a pukey day. Pukey days are just a normal part of our life here in this house, but after a certain point, I start to wonder if we’re getting into dangerous territory. After several vomiting episodes this morning, I saw little Ben wither, and pulled him onto my lap and gently stroked his tummy, just the way he likes it. He was sound asleep in an instant. In that moment, my mommy heart forgot all the stress of the day and the week, and just held my baby.

After spending the whole morning doing puke, and worrying about what might be causing it, and wondering which doctor I might need to call, and feeling like the whole world was pressing in on me, I just sat there and held my child. I realized how often I treat him and his diagnoses like a to-do list: my daily accomplishments that I check off as I complete them. I get so caught up in the tasks necessary to meet his needs that I can’t always see the forest for the trees.

But those quiet moments of holding and rocking my sleeping boy, it all became clear. My to-do list evaporated before my eyes, and the little person on my lap came into focus, in all of his fragile humanity. It occurred to me all over again how very stressful it must be to live in a body that doesn’t cooperate, that needs such intensive help just to get through a day. My heart broke at how awful it must feel to vomit so easily and readily and frequently.  

 I realized why I so often make caring for my son a task list; it hurts to consider just how hard it is to walk a mile in his shoes.

He woke up feeling better. Thankfully, that list of phone calls to doctors never came to fruition, and today is just another day in the life, with a little bonus vomit added in for excitement. I continued down my list of things that needed done, but with a renewed perspective of this precious person who receives my care. These moments of connection renew my caregiving spirit and remind me of the value of my role; a much needed reminder.

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