3 Tips for Creating a Positive Home Environment
The new school year is well underway and I want to start and keep a positive space in my home after school. This is a big task, but I am ready to take it on.
At the end of my work day, I need time to decompress just as much as my kids need time to decompress from their school day. We are all happy that the day is over, but soon thereafter is when the grouchies kick in for everyone and it’s never pretty, especially in my house. And with everyone hustling to get homework started, finished, shift to activities, dinner, and bathing, it’s hard to keep a smile on your face and a positive tone in your voice.
I also know that my when I’m anxious, tired or overwhelmed, my children comply less with their routine and we all end up yelling or just feeling down right unhappy. Who wants that? With all the hustle that goes on each evening, how do you create a positive home environment that makes it so that everyone wants to come home? Well, here are a few ways to do this without needing to plan ahead…well, not too much!
Smile and Say Hello
I know it sounds silly, but once you are home, look your child in the eye, smile, and say hello. If you’re feeling really ambitious, give your child a big hug and kiss (as is age appropriate)! You’re reconnecting with your child after a long break from each other. By doing this, you are non-verbally saying, “You are important to me and I am happy to see you.” This satisfies your child’s need to be acknowledged by you each and every day.
Before bed, make sure you give your child your uninterrupted attention (that means no multi-tasking!) and say good night. Simple, do-able, and effective.
Discuss the High Points of Your Day
Dinner time discussion is a healthy and safe place to bond with your family members and talk about your day. Ask the question, “What was the best/favorite/highest point of your day today?” All family members are encouraged to answer that question. You can also ask the question, “What was your least favorite/worst/lowest point of your day today?” Once again, everyone gets the chance to answer. This will initiate asking questions and engaging each other about time spent apart. As a parent, this gives you an idea of your child’s strengths and struggles during the day. This will help you to ask more specific questions or gain information from your child’s teacher if you are hearing a consistent complaint about a relationship with another child or a class subject.
Please and Thank You
Manners, manners, who doesn’t love manners? We all insist that our children use their manners, but are we, as the adults, also using our manners? Our children learn to interact with each other, their friends, and with us by watching us. That means that when we are speaking with our children, instead of using a loud tone, use a quiet one, smile and keep it positive. Next time you speak with your spouse, remember to say ‘please,’ and ‘thank you’ for helping each other out and remember to use a pleasant tone. Our kids hear the tone and see our body language as well.
These are three small changes you can make to your daily routine to help make your home environment a positive one!
Dr. Liz Matheis is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and certified School Psychologist who specializes in working with children with ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, Learning Disabilities, and behavioral struggles. She is also mom to three children, one with special needs. Her practice, Psychological and Education Consulting, is located in Livingston, New Jersey.
