Lately, I have found myself reaching the end of the day bone-weary. It is dark out, and I am swiping crusty bits of dinner off the counter and tripping over the dog and telling myself that tomorrow, I will adjust the backrest on my son’s wheelchair, and wash all the sheets and stretch my body so it doesn’t pop when I bend my knees.
This list of things I will get to tomorrow has become a bedtime litany. But it is the perfect formula for anxiety. It is the too-heavy coat on my shoulders when all I want to do is close my eyes and let myself rest.
I’ve never been one for gratitude journals or bucket lists full of wishes. I like evidence, and I am practical. My son’s needs have made me so. But recently I’ve picked up a habit that has helped my anxious thoughts lessen a bit as the sun sets and I get ready to begin again tomorrow.
It makes me feel like an incredible human being. Really. It takes two seconds, and you can write it on the back of a grocery receipt and then throw it away. This isn’t a diary or meant for commemoration of any kind. It’s simply a way to point out to your brain that you did the best you could today.
It’s called a “Done List”
And it’s exactly what it sounds like…a list of all the things you did get done today. The whole point of it is to load yourself up with the gold stars that you would never give yourself unless you saw it written in black and white. It can be tiny stuff. In fact, it should be, because we all need to get better at acknowledging the little things we do right. If you happen to also solve global warming and the political divide, great, throw that on there too. But replacing the expired milk and brushing your hair is also worthy of mention.
This one’s for all the caregivers who feel like they never get enough done in a day and yet are actually doing pretty awesome. Without further ado, I give you one of my recent Done Lists:
- Replaced Velcro on leg braces
- Packed a new snack for feeding therapy
- Found a bobby pin I lost in the garage three days ago (win!)
- Bought the good coffee
- Took the dog for a walk in the woods
- Drew a perfect line of eyeliner
- Made myself a real breakfast
- Ate a piece of fruit
- Skipped folding laundry and watched kids play street hockey instead
- Paid the latest hospital bill
- Clipped my fingernails
- Sat outside in the sunshine and read my book for the 18 minutes that dinner was in the oven
- Plugged the speaking device into the charger
- Looked into re-starting our Costco membership to get cheap gas
- Deposited checks at the bank
- Made all the kids take showers
- Listened to my daughter talk about the latest YouTube sensation without rolling my eyes (until after she walked away)
- Signed field trip forms
- Brushed my teeth for (almost) two minutes
- Went to bed 13 minutes early
If you need an instant mood boost, I would highly recommend the Done List. It’s easy to be critical of what you aren’t doing, which is why it is absolutely necessary to stop and make yourself pay attention to what you are.
Jamie Sumner is a special needs mom and author.
Jamie-Sumner.com
Author of the middle-grade novels:
